I have been back to my daily routine for about 3 weeks now. The vacation details are fading into the recesses of my mind. I came back with so much more than mementos or memories. I came back refreshed, renewed and ready to embrace all that I have and all that I hope and dream will be. I have rediscovered myself!
Before I left I was at the end of my teether. I suppose not taking a vacation for a year and working someplace you despise can do that. I was a overworked and was looking for a job and that had gotten me a bit down as nothing seemed to be happening for me. I had been weighed down by the humdrum of daily life, the frustrations of dealing with ignorance and the constant need to be perfectionistic in all that I did.
When I came home people remarked more about my energy level and my smile, which I always thought was one of my greatest features, and that’s when it hit me: I realized that I use to be the annoying person who was perky most mornings (especially Monday’s), smiling and laughing everyday, often for no reason at all. I use to be a truly happy, empowered and charismatic person.
I am not sure where or when I misplaced that piece of myself…what made me bury it but I don’t ever want to lose it again. People at work think I came back on narcotics. And I want to shout this is the true me! My outlook is so positive everyday now. But I am not deluding myself, I know I will have ‘bad’ days but I plan on making an effort to keep my eye on the positives.
I am getting better about not sweating the small stuff the same way I use to. I don’t spend days working on a spreadsheet when I can just as easily convey the information in an email. I keep in focus those things that matter most. I haven’t felt this inspired, engaged in ‘me’ or open to all possibilities in a few years and boy does it feel good.
So, I ask you, are you happy? Have you taken a self inventory or done something to snap yourself out of your rut?