Introducing Cairo

Here is one of my kitty clan. She is notorious for running off for 2 or 3 hours,  climbing on you at 3 a.m. to get a little extra love and warming her bum or other bits on the vents. She will only go on the vents during winter. If the a/c is on she jumps up with claws extended to get away from the cool blowing air. I like this picture of her because it is all attitude, which she struts around with daily…

Heating Pad

Death Convos

The other day BozoBoy was in to get a physical and was referred to a cardiologist as a follow-up. Everything turned out fine but we wound up talking about if something happened to one of us. This was not our first conversation on this topic but as the time passes it seems to get harder and harder to have…the thoughts just are enough to bring tears to the eyes. A friend of ours wife passed away in the spring after battling with cancer for 2 years. It was a long, difficult situation for him, his daughter and their extended family. I bring him up because BozoBoy said he just didn’t know how he would go on if anything happened to me, it was very sweet and although I felt great I certainly would want him to find happiness and love again. But I bring up this friend because he is now engaged. Now although I think it was rather quick, what do I know. I hope he is happy.I suppose we never know how we are going to react, we can attempt to predict but until confronted with it you just never know.

We also spoke about the importance that we understand each others wishes. I am confident that BozoBoy knows that I would not want to be kept alive artificially and more importantly I want to be cremated. Just as I know his final wishes. But nowadays I don’t think this is good enough, you need to have a will. This conversation extends beyond just your spouse too. You should let your family know what your wishes are even if they disapprove. My mom has heard me say my wishes before but I am not sure she has actually registered them…and I have no clue what hers are. I often feel that we are on a skating rink but she is swirling around making figure eights and I am trapped on the edges holding onto the wall. Now that things seem to be settling down for her, I will make it a point in the next week to ask her, maybe even get her to do a will.

Do you have a living will?
For those interested I found a great book on DIY wills. It is a good place to start.

Flashback

I got a strange email last week. It was from an old beau, my first grown-up beau. I haven’t seen or heard or even thought about in over 11 years. It was kinda weird. I emailed back and he called. Caught up. It was awkward. Now it is over and I can let this small blip pass over me. Isn’t strange how some relationships we have seem to resonate at that given moment in time. Even if they don’t end the way we had hoped at the time in hindsight it just seems so right. That trying to glance back and look forward with that person just seems so wrong. I am thankful everyday for the loving relationship I have with BozoBoy. It just keeps getting better and better. And today, that was reinforced. I love u BozoBoy!

Our Newest Additions

Our newest additions are adjusting to our home nicely. They are still in quarantine as we continue to apply medicine to their ringworm. I have decided to introduce you to them though. Click here to see a pic. Cairo is on the left, our warm golden girl and Riga, our silvery loving babe is on the right. They are both quite small still the picture doesn’t do their size justice. They are both about 5 pounds. Hopefully, this weekend they will make their debut into the rest of the house. I am a bit nervous about this. Besides the fact that they may still be contagious (we are getting a black light this weekend to check it out ourselves. You can use this to see if their fur glows green, this means they still have contagion.) but I am a little nervouse about our sofas, the Christmas tree, furniture, books…I have lived so long with Fatty and he is relatively behaved I am just a little apprehensive. I will get over it…eventually :~).

New Arrivals

Today our new housemates arrived. Clean and fresh but a little weary of us. We adopted two beautiful tabby kittens, both girls. They are about 3 and 1/2 months old and absolutely adorable. We named the gold tabby Cairo and the silver tabby Riga. Poor Riga has ringworm and so we are keeping them both in quarantine. We had them checked out by our vet and seems that they are in good health with the exception of the Ringworm. We have to keep them separate from Hugo for at least the next 10 days.

O the washing! Whenever we visit with them we strip off our clothes to control the distribution of contagion and then we liberally wash exposed body parts. I didn’t know that ringworm a) is a fungus not a worm, b) can be transmitted to humans and c) can live in carpet for up to 2 years. Mostly, I feel bad for Riga. She has some big patches and now that they are all shaved we can see them better but she doesn’t like the treatment. I have no doubt they will heal up fine. I just hope we are able to let them out after 10 days and that our clean-up efforts are thorough. When I get a chance I will post a few photos of them. They really are adorable and I do think I made the right decision in inviting them into our home.

December Brings Happiness

December brings one of my favorite times of year, the Christmas holiday. I love the decorations, lights, festivities, holiday songs, and general happier attitude of people. I have only just bought my Christmas cards and have yet to sit down and compose the newsletter that shall accompany them but today I am less stressed about that than I was a few days ago.

I suppose for me I get caught up in the fond memories I have of Christmas. Christmas was always a fun time at my house, with less focus on the amount of things or whether I actually got what I asked for. As a child gifts were a true celebration and mom never failed. I felt like the most blessed kid on the block. I loved the lead up to the holiday, the time off from school, the cold wind nipping at my ears as a constant reminder of fun things to come, and the Advent calendar that was scratch and sniff that seemed to slumber during the ensuing months. I enjoyed decorating the tree with handmade ornaments, wrapping the tinsel around after we had put the lights on…and then of course waking up and like magic wonderful gifts appeared under the tree. I could go on and on.

The first year we were married, grandma sent us most of the Christmas ornaments she had as well as a few new ones. That was the first Christmas holiday that mother and daughter had ever spent apart and remains the only one in 31 years. So, now we pull out our 4-foot plastic tree and take all my childhood ornaments and decorate the tree. We have hung lights throughout the living and dining room, with the few presents waiting to be wrapped and tucked under it.

I am saddened by all the commercialization that has taken over Christmas and every other holiday. Too much goes into “getting things” for Christmas and mostly I try hard to ignore it. I do enjoy buying the odd gift for BozoBoy and Grandma but I no longer go overboard. Now we celebrate sensibly. I suppose the older I get the less important it is to have frivolous stuff. But I still anticipate Christmas morning with butterflies and excitement, which makes me feel like a kid all over again. At Christmas I think of it as a renewal of the kid in me, recognizing those closest to my heart and thinking of those less fortunate I. As the days pass and Christmas nears, my excitement will grow as will my general happiness. I hope yours does too.

Wanted: A Best Friend

It seems that for the last few years I have spent the odd moment contemplating my lack thereof a “best friend.” Let me start by saying, I have a best friend in my partner. I could not be more blessed by his trueness, understanding and support, and ever-lasting love. I know I am a better person because of him. We are normal though…we have our ups and downs. We argue and disagree, pout and shout but nothing so damaging or detrimental as to damage the core of our relationship. Most of the time is small pettiness that ruins the moment and I do mean moment. I rarely can stay mad for longer than 30 minutes. My heart is just never in it. I am big on talking out a problem…communicating to a better end. I will talk you to death, even in an argument.

So, why do I feel like I don’t have a best friend? Well I feel I am missing something more. A girlfriend I can hang out with, who knows me in and out, and has a grasp of what’s going on in my life. I want someone who can provide that female camaraderie that BozoBoy can’t, who knows me in a way most people don’t, who sees me on my good and bad days.

We have been married nearly 9 years, lived on both coasts and had a brief layover in the middle of the country. I have LOTS of friends. Friends I e-mail, irregularly (bad me). I would say I have friends who have at one time or another been a very close friend. Most of my friends I met at work, which has included both men and women. I get on well with both sexes.

My mother use to call me the little charmer, I was always myself in social circumstances but I guess being an extrovert but not overly so (and faking confidence I didn’t really have at the time) I put myself out to make friends. I am very good at making friends, across racial boundaries, gender, nationalities… And I would say keeping them…but I don’t put in the full effort I know I should to maintain the same level with the friends but I have dropped very few friends.

I wish I could keep up with all my friends…and I use to but now I am just so busy, and tired and there are just so many. Hey…I fall down on my wifely responsibilities more than I should and I see the man everyday. You see where I am going with this.

But I haven’t had a best friend since college. I had a best friend, in fact 2 in elementary school (who I still am in contact with – a few times a year), 2 in high school neither of whom I still have ties to), and I would say I had 1 best friend in college, although I made some last friendships…(and I keep up with them, though I had a falling out with the best friend a few years ago). But since then the well has dried up!

And dammit, I am mad and hurt. I want a girlfriend I can tell my secrets (see previous post) too. I don’t even have any secrets, but I can make some up if she comes. I need my very own buddy who offers me their opinion, is nonjudgmental but tells me the truth even when it isn’t what I want to hear. I miss this companionship, before my life and those of my friends got more complicated making it harder to have that deep meaningful relationship.

I have some wonderful friends at work and a very small circle outside locally. But socially, I have done next to nothing with friends outside of work. Shortly, after we moved in we held an open house/30th b-day party. I invited a great number of people and I think about 50-60 turned up. Since, not a single person has been over to the house…that has been nearly a year and a half. Boy, that is kinda depressing.

I bet you are tired of hearing me whine, well I have plan. Sort of, I at least know my objective:

1. To start developing lasting relationships, but more than that…I have several great friends in different states, I would consider very close, even best friends…but I am not part of their daily lives, nor are they part of mine. I want that daily friend interaction but to transcend the boundaries of work and the shifts in our lives.

2. To try to reconnect with the friends I have. Make a bigger effort to stay in their lives. I plan to divvy up the months and start with some of the friends I already keep up with throughout the year and try to e-mail them more often.

3. To consider my daily friends as potential best friends…invite them out or over or whatever…this is harder because I only have 1 close girlfriend at work. She could so be my best friend…but her life is very full right now and she has several best friends. I am sure her heart is gracious enough to engulf me too, but I just feel her life is just so rich now…I am more than happy to be her close friend. I heard somewhere it takes an average of 3 years to form a “true” friendship. I am not sure I believe this. Maybe they mean a lasting relationship. We are reaching our 3-year mark, so perhaps she and I are on the right path.

But I am getting impatient, (I’ve been thinking about this on and off for the last 5 years). We all hear how friends are critical participants in our emotional health. I am at a point in my life where I feel like I am making big decisions, redefining who I am and I want a witness, if you will. I want to form rewarding and enduring connections. To find a friendship that can grow with me as I embark on what I hope will be a rewarding time that includes children. So, I have drafted the following ad…please feel free to apply.

WANTED: A Best Friend (Not Romantic…got that covered.)
Per Merriam-Websters: “one attached to another by affection or esteem.” To go even further I am looking for someone, to chat with about nothing or everything. To shop or drive in circles or whatever moves your spirit. To support and listen and talk and talk and talk…empathize, cry and have fun. To steal quiet “girl” moments and share intimate details (e.g., talk about how panties ride up with certain tights…nothing that said spouse would be too embarrassed about me knowing).

I am prepared to reciprocate all that I have asked for and in return, I will be committed and dependable, I will care and love, give advice you solicit and even some you don’t…I will share details I shouldn’t (see previous post) but keep YOUR secrets and tell you the truth and you can call me anytime just because. I may meet you by chance or have you in my life already…I will share in your joy and pain, and distance shall be no boundary for us, and even if we argue I won’t divorce you because I will know the honeymoon is over but the best is yet to come.

Granny’s Day

It was my mother’s birthday today and what a nice, happy day it turned out to be. We went to see a terrible movie and had a great meal. We ate at Red Rock Canyon, which turned out to be a nice meal. We saw Doom, which was a really bad, awful in fact. Just wasn’t made well and I didn’t care for it. I don’t get to the movies all that often, so it was a real waste of money but it was a nice time out. Grandma was very well behaved and we actually had a nice time. It has been a while since we have had a nice time out. When she was just normal for a change, no insulting or undercutting, no wild opinions or wacky comments, just normal.

It was quite a nice afternoon.

Good News for Grandma

Well I am happy to report that Grandma starts her orientation and training with Target this week. We are feeling the stress start to leave us and most importantly we are just happy she has found something, even if it temporary and it isn’t quite what she was expected.